This question was recently asked of me and it's a tricky one. If you are the guest who brought a bottle of wine to a dinner party, it's at the discretion of the host whether they would like to serve it at the party. The bottle would be considered a hostess gift and once given, you cannot, and should not, determine how the gift receiver uses your gift. If you would like to have your bottle opened, then when you RSVP, let your hostess know that you would like to contribute by bringing the wine and ask what they are serving so that you can choose appropriately.
If you are the host and you are receiving the bottle, since it is considered a hostess gift, you are more than entitled to put it aside to enjoy later. Many wine givers do not know this, however, so it's best to simply thank them for the thoughtful gift and ask if they would like you to open it tonight. They will appreciate your offer to share it with them, but will likely leave it to your discretion (or at least they should).
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